My Why… What’s Yours?

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Without Why=Without Purpose

Why is the connection that drives behavior. It is hard to understand behavior without knowing your Why. Does it have to be altruistic? No. Can it be? Yes. Can it be both? I think it can be–although some experts may disagree. Regardless, it is up to you to develop your Why

Think about it this way, every successful business has a Why.

Successful businesses have a mission that drives their goals and how they measure success. Why (no pun intended) is it that we don’t focus on our own Why? If we do not have clarity about why we are doing what we do and living the way we live, our purpose gets masked by others, and our life may feel inauthentic. Who wants that? We are left with an empty feeling that we can’t quite put our finger on and try to fill that void with either unhealthy actions or a variety of things that may be fitting for others rather than ourselves.  Ever feel like this? Until the last two years, I have struggled with this feeling. You are not alone!

Disclaimer: Just knowing your Why doesn’t solve everything, but it is a crucial first step toward achieving (insert what you want out of life).

 

My Why…

What continues to fuel me is helping others overcome obstacles, life circumstances or self-placed, to master life transitions. Encouraging and teaching individuals to take the lead in creating a life they desire is more than satisfying to me; it is my Why, my motivator, the reason that prevents my own burnout. I have experience with life dealing me a sh*t hand as well as creating my own chaos, and I’m here to tell you that regardless of your situation, you can be a force to be reckoned with. Yes. You. Can.

My passion since I can remember, although not realized in full totality until just a few years ago, is to empower others to remove the “I’m not…good enough, rich enough, thin enough, smart enough, or (insert adjective here) enough” to lead a life they love!

You. Are. Enough.

It may not be easy, nor quick, to achieve everything you want out of life, but it is possible. It all starts with self-acceptance and confidence.

Throughout my journey, I have struggled with self-acceptance and confidence…from academic success, career transitions, relationships, to moving often, losing loved ones, and feeling unworthy of asking for and receiving help. In my eyes, I was never enough. I only discovered complete self-acceptance and self-compassion through both counseling and coaching sessions a couple years ago when chaos and uncertainty had reached a peak in my life. Sometimes it takes crisis to reach that “Aha!” moment.

From nearly seven years of experience providing professional advising, career coaching, and teaching, as well as informally coaching friends and colleagues as they work through challenges, there seems to be a constant pattern of roadblocks that stand between us identifying and achieving our desires. As varied as it may look for each person, self-doubt and self-sabotage are unwanted guests. Many times over, this is due to our past experiences, whether it be life’s never-ending hardships or one-time experiences, that have taken control in every similar situation we have experienced thereafter. I always believed my past would NOT define me and remember writing, “My past does not define me” on post-its, in journals, and even repeating those words aloud to myself a few thousand times. Eventually, I learned self-acceptance and gained confidence to reshape the role my past experiences played in my life. I became the lead author of my story–past, present, and future. It is a sensational freeing feeling!

Are you the lead author of your story?

What is your Why?

Not certain? Imagine what each day might look like being the lead author of your life living out your Why. It is time to live a life you love don’t you think? My go to confidence-building, dream-seeking and ass-kicking song is Dog Days are Over. Perhaps it will inspire you as well!

 

You do YOU!

~Shan

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